So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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my gramma died

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops