A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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You are joking right?

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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