What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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dead dibbs

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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