Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

dead dibbs

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...