Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Corn Muffins

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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