Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Three black men were walking...

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops