What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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Three black men were walking...

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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