Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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