Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops