Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

your mom died.

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

This is not a joke

What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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