When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steven Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops