Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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