Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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