What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

a Jew had a small nose

poop.

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

Women's Rights

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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