Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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where is the world?

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No soap radio

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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