Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops