- Anti Joke

There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

VaginaBoob ^.^

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

whats worse than being payton johnson being black

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."