How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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That's what SHE said!

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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