Once upon a time

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

I have suicidal thoughts

Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

Moooo

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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