Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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?J?o?k?e?

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Obama being reelected.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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