Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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