WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Gingers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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