What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

Im batman...suck it losers

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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