John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there once was a black man who played basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You're tall.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops