What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops