Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

Microwave

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

feminine literature

Shea's sty....

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

My mum is called Steve

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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