What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

I like colin but not as much as apple

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

Darude- Sandstorm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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