What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Im batman...suck it losers

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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