How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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