Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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the WNBA

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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www.xnxx.com

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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