Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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whats green and lives in the water

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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