What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops