Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

24

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Whats two plus two? Miles

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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