I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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