Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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