Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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National security?

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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My penis is big... not.

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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