Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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give me a thumbs up

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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