Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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