- Anti Joke

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

I grunt when I poop.

"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

A baby seal walks into a club.

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

Knock knock. Who's there?

So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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