Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Guess what? The Game.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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