What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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Get on the boat.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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RUN

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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