What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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You bumder!

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Why did? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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