What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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