Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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woman..parallel parking

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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heads up!

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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WEED!

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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The WNBA.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops