Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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