Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

Vagina cream... end of story

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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