A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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Dogs

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j

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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