Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

c======3

Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

whats your budget like? a budget.

What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...