Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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knock knock whos their a person

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops