I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

guess what chicken butt

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

nick ya honkin of b.o m8

Barbara Streisand

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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