A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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I grunt when I poop.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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Lars Arne Eriksen (Yes his real name) is filing a case against me (because he believes that my actions (from my private estate-ish bigger) are shaming the firm.... Now, can anyone of you randomeers, tell me what firm I represent? Which firm I am not employed at but OWN, meaning that I am the one that will be evaluating if his case is valid? ERIKSEN YOU FUCKING DUMBASS YOU CAN LEAVE NOW YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID FOR READING THESE COMMENTS AND SENDING THEM TO YOUR BOSS... ...BECAUSE I AM YOUR BOSS YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! NOW TYPE THIS DOWN, TAKE YOUR LITTLE PICTURES AND SEND THEM TO ME, SO I CAN SAY OFFICIALLY THEM "YOU SUCK YOU ARE FIRED" Now, feel free to post what Lawfirm I not only represent but own 99.9 of, if anyone guesses right, I will send you ten fucking million USD, and quit my position, if not I fire Eriksen and... (ill do that anyways Eriksen, you are not getting paid today, go home, we shall speak of this later, consider yourself on the way of getting officially fired. Not for having fun like we are here (you know at my tiny house here) THE HUGE ONE, but for embarrasing yourself and attempting to... Sigh, shame your boss by reporting him not to your boss, but to your the lead attorney... FUCKING DUMBASS I AM THE LEAD ATTORNEY WHICH MEANS THAT THIS IS WHY YOU CALL ME BOSS! According to this little dialer, twelve people from our firm are watching this site because we are having fun, and you just ridiculed yourself all in front of them. Dont show your face at my firm again dumbass, you can keep working until I officially let you go, but you wont get any pay from the official work. Guys at work, explain him how he cannot file a complaint about me, to myself for shaming a law firm whose nobody knows I AND ONLY I PROPERLY REPRESENT! Go home Eric crapton, make sure he leaves guys, thank you very much.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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