Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

Where's my tractor?

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

Black people stink of shite!

A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

You know what's cool? Yep.

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...