The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

This is my favorite antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

haha black people :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops